Tiffany Robinson (00:02.124) It's a common conversation in families. A parent, a spouse, someone we love is reluctant to leave their home. And we're left trying to figure out what that really means and whether it's safe. Today's episode is for everyone who has had that conversation or knows it's coming. We're talking about what it actually takes to stay at home as we age. The emotional weight of that decision, the practical realities of making a home safe, and the financial options that can make it possible. and we're having that conversation with someone who has spent her career at exactly this intersection. Esther Kane is an occupational therapist, a certified aging in place specialist, and a certified dementia specialist. She's also the founder of Senior Safety Advice, a resource she built specifically to give seniors and family caregivers the honest, practical information they need to make good decisions. Esther, welcome to Comfort Connections. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (00:58.53) thank you so much. I am so happy to be here. Can't wait to get into the conversation. Tiffany Robinson (01:05.25) You've had a career that's moved through a few different chapters, OT, continuing education, and now senior safety advice, but the thread running through all of it seems to be this, helping people understand what it actually means to stay safe and independent at home. When did that become the focus for you? Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (01:24.364) Well, as an OT, I worked in geriatric head injury mostly. And so was in rehab and part of my job was to assess if the person could go home and live there safely. And because it was mostly older adults, many of them were alone. you know, mostly women living alone, which just tends to happen with that demographic. And what I found was that so many of the homes were simply not suited for someone growing older, not even, not necessarily suited for someone who'd had a stroke or someone who was in the beginning stages of dementia or, or cardiac issue, not, not even counting any of those, just regular aging issues. the home itself was not suitable. So I got interested in the whole concept of aging in place and modifying homes for aging or really for any ability or disability, which is basically universal design, you know, making a home your safe comfort zone. It should be the place that you feel most comfortable in and are the safest in, but less than 10 % of homes in the U.S. are actually senior friendly. which is crazy because 10,000 plus people a day are turning 65 and older for years to come. So what are we doing? We have to modify these homes. Otherwise, what ends up happening are accidents, injuries, things that just simply should not, did not have to happen. I treated so many patients that came to rehab after a serious injury over something that was so silly, carrying laundry down the stairs or tripping over a rug or bumping into furniture that was just too big for the space. mean, just all kinds of things that could make the home safer. So that's how I got interested in it way back when. Tiffany Robinson (03:34.158) Before we get into the practical side, I want to start with something that tends to come before any of it. The emotional reality. What's actually going on when a senior digs in and refuses help? Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (03:47.147) Well, two things. One, mostly it's emotional. mean, basically you're walking into someone's home and you're telling them that they have to make changes to that home. They may have lived there 60 years and, you know, that's naturally going to cause some kind of resistance. Two, I call it the more so disease. If that person was a little stubborn or, you know, obstinate or whatever when they were younger. They're only going to be more so when they're older. So I've seen that over and over again. Three, you've now got the children telling the parent what to do. And that's very difficult for a lot of older adults to take. But besides those emotional factors, then there's also the financial factor. But now it's how do you pay for these changes? It's one thing to move furniture around, but it's another thing to have to widen doorways. or modify bathrooms completely, or bring in adaptive equipment. Medicare and insurance normally don't pay for many of those things, if any of them. And a lot of seniors are living on limited income. So there's that resistance to all of that. So it's a real challenge for anybody in the aging in place niche to try to overcome or to help the family overcome all of that. And there's also the factor that's mostly from the family, not so much the senior, of admitting that their parent or grandmother or whatever is getting old. That is actually a hard thing to do. Tiffany Robinson (05:24.393) really hard thing to do. It's a really hard thing to do because if you think about it, if this is your father and this is someone who's been your strong supporter, protector all your life and now this person needs help, that's a really hard thing to accept and understand. Do you think that's why sometimes there's some grief that's embedded in this whole topic as well? Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (05:48.163) Absolutely, 100%. It's not only grief of possibly, I mean, you eventually losing that person, but it's also the grief of the relationship you had with that person is now changing. And it's also just the grief of just admitting that everything is changing in life. it's hard because most people do not plan. They're not proactive, they're reactive. So everything is thrown at once. know, mom fell. Now that she fell, now you have to do, now you, all of a sudden you become the caregiver and all of a sudden all of this is changing. It changes in a moment. And because we don't discuss it early enough, because we don't begin in our forties and fifties to begin the process in our own minds of, okay, how do I modify this environment? Tiffany Robinson (06:18.349) Right. Right. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (06:45.686) to make myself safe and to keep my family happy. If you don't do that, then it hits you like a train. And how do you handle all those emotions? It's difficult. I get it. I absolutely get it. I have a good story. I have a friend who just recently had back surgery. She's in her late 70s. Her husband's in his late, is in early 80s. She refused to go to rehab. because she insisted that she could take care of herself at home. She has now been home after back surgery, severe back surgery, rods and everything, sitting, laying in bed for now two weeks, refusing to get up, will get up for short periods to go to the bathroom and come right back to bed. No nursing, no anything. Do you think she's getting any better? No. I just saw her yesterday. She's getting weaker. The husband is downstairs because he can't go upstairs because he has bad knees. She's upstairs and can't go downstairs because she's so weak. So the two of them are totally isolated. She has, I mean, it doesn't make any sense. makes no, from the outside, it's not pragmatic sense. But for her emotionally, she could not imagine going to rehab. So now, Where do you go? How do you work with the family who is it's very difficult. It is very difficult. I I admit sometimes it's just it's impossible and we all have autonomy you have to let people do what they do, but they also have to realize they're going to reap the aftermath of their decisions There's a phrase for that. I can't think of it Tiffany Robinson (08:23.904) I'm here. Tiffany Robinson (08:34.955) Yeah, absolutely. We have this culture of independence. And so it's really, really hard to accept help. But like you're saying here, if you don't, now you're not going to heal and recover and bounce back like you maybe could have. So it's really important for us to kind of think about that perspective. Another thing that I would love to kind of pick your brain about is the framing of having this conversation of help. and modification. I'm sure that there's certain ways that we should be framing it and also maybe certain timing. Can you share a little bit about about that with us? Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (09:12.402) absolutely. I do want to talk about that word independence, because the reality is in order to keep your independence, you need to make those modifications. Otherwise, you are going to end up being dependent on other people more so. So why not use that walker? You know, it's not it's not it's a tool to keep you independent. Tiffany Robinson (09:17.356) Yes. Tiffany Robinson (09:21.217) less. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (09:37.249) Why not modify the kitchen so that you can be independent in there and work? I mean, that's the whole, the whole gist of aging in place is to stay independent for as long as possible, whether you use tools or anything. And to me, a walker is no different than a blender. Tiffany Robinson (09:49.57) Yes. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (09:56.309) I use a blender to make a smoothie. can't make a smoothie without the blender. So why is a tool like a blender different than a tool like a walker? It isn't. It keeps me, it gives me what I need at the moment that I need it. That's how I. Tiffany Robinson (10:11.265) That's such a great analogy. I love that. you're so right. I haven't thought of it from that perspective. And you're absolutely right. And we get so many people who are resistant to that walker, that cane. And you're like, it's just a blender. Don't worry about it. It's just a blender. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (10:22.21) I It's just another tool. And you want to stay independent, right? Yeah. But the conversation. Yeah. First of all, I think it's so important for families to have conversations with their aging parents. You know, like in their 50s and 60s and 70s. You know, I have a lot of friends who are seniors themselves who have aging parents. So it's seniors caring for seniors at this point. And I think part of it is that they don't even want to admit it themselves that they're getting older, right? But if you do, if you do open that up and you accept it and you move along with it, it's such a beautiful thing. I mean, I have seen, you know, elders who've accepted it and they've had this amazing, amazing, beautiful Tiffany Robinson (10:52.781) Yes. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (11:17.202) life that lasts because it's fulfilling and they are finding excitement in everything that they do. Whereas the others that are fighting it all the time end up in depression and grief and denial. And I mean, it's such an angry way to end your life. You know, why do that when you could do it the other way? If you have the capacity to do that, the mental capacity to do it. But it takes effort and it takes time. So for families, I would love for them to have this conversation. There's a lot of books on Amazon, like workbooks on questions you should ask mom and dad. My late husband did that. He did a video actually of all these questions that he asked and he interviewed his mom and dad. They were at the time in their 70s and 80s. They lived way into their 90s. But these questions were there meant to say, well, what do you want to happen when you pass away? Or how do you wish you pass away? What do you want legacy for your family? What if you have a stroke? How do you want things to work? Let us know so that we can do it for you the way you want it done. All those kinds of questions seem terrible. Like people don't talk about, they don't want to talk about a will or they want to talk about funeral. But at the same time, no one is escaping any of that. So why not have it done the way you want it done? But you're only, their family's only going to know that if you talk about it. So I think it's up to the children mostly, because the adults I think don't tend to bring it up. But if they can bring it up in bits and pieces, you know, every few weeks, months, whatever, for it to build up to a point where, because one conversation isn't going to do it. It has to be like on a repeated basis, like almost anything. You know, you're basically asking somebody to change something about themselves and that's not easy to do. So it has to be done on a repeated process, but gently, you know, not Tiffany Robinson (13:18.924) Right? Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (13:28.522) You have to do this. Of course, that's not going to do anything. That's just going to build up a defense. It's just, I'm worried about it. Can you help me not worry about it so much? And I think if you ask it to them in a way of asking them for their help, to help you, hopefully that will bridge the gap. Tiffany Robinson (13:30.251) Right. Tiffany Robinson (13:49.579) Let's say that the family is now ready to take a look at adapting the house. Where do you start? Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (13:50.658) you Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (13:56.481) You start off with a home safety assessment. So that could either be from an occupational therapist or it could be from a certified aging in place specialist. So that would be someone who's CAP certified or SHSS certified. And I know in Canada, they have a different certification, but either way it's a home safety assessment. Now, hopefully that person, what I'm encouraging everyone that I talk to that is a home that does that. What I'm encouraging them is to have basically a Rolodex of other service providers that they can also recommend because once the assessment is done, you know, maybe the assessment says you need widening doorways. Well, then you need a construction or a handyman, somebody to come in to do that. But someone that knows, you know, how wide to make it and make it for what? A walker or wheelchair? You know, what? Tiffany Robinson (14:32.236) Yes. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (14:52.13) Maybe you need bathroom modification. Maybe you just need a redesign of the environment. Maybe the physical structure of the home is great, but the furniture is too big. There's too much to bump into, square coffee tables, glass coffee tables, God forbid. All of those kinds of things can be modified. But that means new furniture. So that could be an interior designer that is CAP certified. What I love is that so many of these industries are coming in and getting CAP certified or SHSS certified so that they have that extra training on top of what they do. Another one is smart home companies that can come in and make the home easier to manage. thermostats, know, make them more automatic. Alexa devices, you know, make them, you know, put them where they need to be so that if you were to fall, you could use your voice to call for help or even just use them as a phone. All kinds of electronic, you know, devices that can make a home safer. You know, the locks to come into the home with a special key or not even a key, but a number or your thumbprint, anything at all to make it easier to manage the home levers instead of knobs on doors and faucets. All of the companies that provide those products and those services that are CAP certified, they're the ones that should be in the Rolodex of the person who does the home safety assessment because it takes more than one person to do everything. And I personally like Tiffany Robinson (16:34.679) right. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (16:36.706) like starting it in 40s and 50s, especially with smart home, because technology is very difficult. My mom-in-law lived to 102, and at 99, she was still living on her own. And her thermostat, which was the old thermostat with the little switch that goes left and right, went kaput. Tiffany Robinson (16:42.219) Hmm. Tiffany Robinson (16:48.192) Wow. Tiffany Robinson (16:57.549) Bye. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (17:00.578) So she had to get a new thermostat. Well, they didn't have any more of those old thermostats. So they installed a new thermostat. One day I called her and her voice sounded all muffled. I said, what's wrong? She says, I'm under the covers. I said, why are you under the covers? Because it's cold. I said, well, why don't you fix the thermostat to make it warmer? I don't know how. I don't know how. So I had to call a neighbor to come help her do the thermostat so that she could be comfortable. Tiffany Robinson (17:20.781) Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (17:30.422) The point is, if you start introducing those new things later, it's a lot harder to learn. You know, so you want to start introducing those things sooner so that you can become accustomed to them. You know, she could never get used to Alexa. She kept just yelling at it to shut up. said, no, you have to say Alexa. And she could never remember that. So those little things that can help to make the environment safer later on. So yeah, I encourage everybody to start early if they can. Tiffany Robinson (18:04.065) When you do a home safety assessment, what do you find yourself flagging the most that families haven't noticed? Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (18:10.79) those frickin' rugs, rugs, rugs. In fact, my friend that I just said with the back surgery, she tripped over her rug in the bathroom. So when I went to visit her, very first thing, she said, take that rug out. I tripped over it. I I know you do. I hate rugs. and now I get it though. A lot of people like the aesthetics of a rug. So, and I do too. So what I did is I replaced all my rugs with vinyl flats. Tiffany Robinson (18:13.099) Yes. Tiffany Robinson (18:22.038) Tiffany Robinson (18:34.198) Of course. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (18:39.904) Now they're very, very thin. They're vinyl, which makes it excellent if you have pets, because they're super easy to clean, but they give you the aesthetic of a rug. But at the same time, a walker can easily go over it. A wheelchair can easily go over it. You know, if you don't raise your foot high enough when you're walking, which is very common as you get older, you're not going to stub your toe against it. So if you have to have something there on the ground, choose a vinyl flat. Tiffany Robinson (18:47.265) Yes. Tiffany Robinson (19:00.727) Hmm? Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (19:09.602) There's so many beautiful designs nowadays and some great companies that offer them but yeah rugs rugs and too much furniture or clutter too much stuff decluttering is actually the very first step to aging in place and I'm encouraging a lot of organizers and decluttering companies to become CAP certified so that they can then have that extra skill when they go into these elders homes to Tiffany Robinson (19:19.277) you Tiffany Robinson (19:25.014) Yes. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (19:39.356) to clean them out basically to help them organize it. Tiffany Robinson (19:43.031) When you're looking at someone's home, what are the highest risk areas or rooms that come to mind that people should be really focusing on? Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (19:52.811) The bathroom and the kitchen. The bathroom because obviously the floors can get wet. I mean, you have to have some kind of rug there. You step out of the shower. What I'm hearing a lot now is that many older adults, even a lot of my friends are wearing slippers like beach shoes, not a slipper without a back. It's a shoe that you can normally wear if you're going hiking in the rocks or River or the beach and it has a back to it. It's just a rubber Shoe so they wear that in the shower Then that way when they step out, it's got a good grip They don't have to fall that is if they don't want to have a mat there They've tripped over it before or they just don't feel safe or secure Yeah, the the Tiffany Robinson (20:23.542) Yeah! Tiffany Robinson (20:42.231) That's great advice. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (20:46.242) Getting in and out of a tub or shower, even especially a lot of showers have a lid there in the front, so zero threshold is always a very good thing, but not all bathrooms are big enough to accommodate that. Toilets aren't usually high enough. You you need something, need grab bars everywhere. And now they have some beautiful aesthetic looking grab bars that don't even look like grab bars, which is really nice and so helpful. Anything to sit on if you need to. some kind of a alert device. I like Alexa, because you can use your voice, that's great thing. Anything like that in the bathroom. And lighting. Lighting is often very dim in a bathroom, and you need more of it. I also, in the kitchen, what I find is that most people have things that they use either too high or too low. Tiffany Robinson (21:20.322) Yes. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (21:39.777) So if they're having to overreach to grab something, they can easily lose their balance and fall. I've treated a few patients like that. And then the same with having to grab something from underneath. And the thing with things underneath is usually that they're buried behind other stuff that's underneath. So then they have to take out those pots and pans in order to get to that one pot, you know, out, and then they lose their balance and fall. And it's one thing to fall and maybe hurt, you know, bruise yourself. but you can easily break a wrist, break a shoulder, break a hip, and God forbid, crack your head. Those are really the saddest stories because it didn't have to happen. If the items you use most often are placed in a way that you can access them easily, yeah, it makes it so much easier. And people tend to use a chair as a step ladder. to get up on something, don't do that of course, because you have nothing to hold on to. You just, you do what you've always done and you don't think about it. You think you can, but the point is to stop and think about what could happen and just, you know, fix it with a tool, with a product, a step ladder that has a handle or, you know, move items so that they're in an easy, easily accessible area. I just changed my stove top to an induction stove top because you can't burn yourself on an induction stove top. So that just makes it a little safer. It's just one other thing that's a little safer. And I think that's the key too, not everything has to be done at once. You can do it in bits and pieces, but you can't do it in bits and pieces unless you have the list of what to do. And that's where the home safety assessment comes in to give you a list of what to do or what you can do. Let's put it that way, what you can do. Tiffany Robinson (23:35.799) Correct. Tiffany Robinson (23:46.658) I think it's so important reaching out to a professional because a person who has not gone through this before, they're not aware of some of these bells and whistles or tools that are available that can help you. So having a professional come in who's going to not only know what's available, what's helpful, because you may mention something and they go, that exists, right? I didn't even know that that existed. And so you have to go to someone who's going to be able to share that with you. And that's why I think it's so important that you have someone come do a home safety assessment because you don't know what you don't know. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (24:22.69) That's right. You don't know what you don't know. And why should you know it? I mean, not in your niche. It's not in your skill set. Yeah. Why should you know it? Yeah. You don't need to know how the engine is built to run the car, but you have to take that car to, you know, the mechanic to fix that engine. So why should you know everything that there is to know about aging in place, about making a home safer? Tiffany Robinson (24:25.953) Right. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (24:46.144) That's where a home safety, it's such an inexpensive way to have a little peace of mind and a to do list. It's like going to an elder law attorney and he tells you, okay, well, these are the things that you need to do and let's do them. Yeah, peace of mind. Tiffany Robinson (24:52.908) Yes. Mhm. Tiffany Robinson (25:03.413) Absolutely. Let's talk about money. What options do families have that they're not typically aware of to pay for some of this? Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (25:05.964) Yeah. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (25:11.968) Yeah, and a lot of it can be expensive. That's why it's another reason to do it in bits and pieces. But of course, there are loans. There are reverse mortgages that can really be beneficial for some people. I think people have an idea of what reverse mortgages used to be, but they're much better nowadays. They can really benefit. I just interviewed somebody about reverse mortgages, and I was actually amazed at how good they can be for some people. There are local grants. and programs, nonprofit. I just spoke with somebody yesterday who told me about some places in California, Yvonne's front porch. This woman asks people if they want to donate any of their adaptive equipment or anything like that they have. And she literally goes and picks it up, puts it on her front porch and other people can come get it. I mean, that's just like sharing the product. Tiffany Robinson (26:12.395) That's fantastic. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (26:13.698) I know. Then there's another one called Molly's Angels and she helps people with refinancing or finding financing, be it local, be it national government, and nonprofits. A lot of nonprofits can also benefit and help with funding of all of these. So these services are out there, but so many people don't know that they're out there. Tiffany Robinson (26:37.472) Huh. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (26:40.502) And that's one of the reasons that I built the website aginginplacedirectory.com because I saw that all of these things were out there, but there was no one singular place where a family caregiver or senior could go and say, step one, step two, step three, I need to do this, I need to do that, or I can do this, I can do that. So I'm working on building that, but I think... just having the conversations. Using a geriatric care manager is a professional that you can contact who can give you the information in your particular area and circumstance. So I urge people to talk to that kind of person. And that's another profession that I think most people aren't aware of. Tiffany Robinson (27:28.063) I agree. And I think that they can come in and be such a wealth of knowledge for a family, especially if you, a lot of people don't have any touch within the home care services, aging services. And so bringing in that expert is something that can be so helpful and it can be a huge difference in what the aging in place looks like for someone having them come in. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (27:51.574) Exactly. Tiffany Robinson (27:53.518) Another idea that we sometimes will provide, so with us providing home care and coming into the home, and we're sometimes working with people who are saying, wow, these services sound great. We need them, we want them, how are we gonna pay for it? And so, a lot of the things you've mentioned, right, we're talking about another thing that we mentioned is what about an estate sale? And so some of these individuals that have been in their home for 50 plus years, Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (28:06.879) Thank you. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (28:15.315) Yes. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (28:19.883) Yes. Tiffany Robinson (28:20.181) and you just think of the amount of items we talked earlier about how clutter can be so scary. So even from a home care perspective, that in and of itself is helpful for us, right? Let's simplify the environment. Let's not have 10 chairs in this room. Let's have two or three for ambulation and getting around. so for us, and then also you have that sale and now there's funds that could be for home care. It could be for home modifications. It could be for whatever you need. And I think that that's something people don't owner aren't really aware of Comfort Care and At Your Side, we are so lucky because we have sister brands. And so one of our sister brands is Blue Moon Estate Sales and they do this. They'll come in, they will run it top to bottom. You know, the pricing, the running of it, the day off, making it so simple for families because a lot of times it's I don't know where to start. And so I think that's another huge resource that we can recommend. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (29:16.674) Absolutely. I love that. I'm going to write an article on that. I absolutely love that. You're right. mean, I don't care whether it's an estate sale, whether it's garage sale, whatever, you're absolutely right. But I love the estate sale concept because it is hands off, you know, and it's so much easier for the family and the senior. It's emotional seeing your stuff being carted away from the driveway. So yes, I agree with that. I love that. Tiffany Robinson (29:18.696) Bye! Tiffany Robinson (29:40.011) It is. It is. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (29:45.986) Okay, I'm writing an article on that this afternoon. Tiffany Robinson (29:47.638) I mean, think about it. You have that boat that's been in the garage that you haven't used in 10 years, right? These are things that are sitting there and might be bringing funds that you didn't even think of in that community. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (29:50.602) It's her. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (29:58.477) Absolutely, absolutely. I have friends that have four or five sets of china have Christmas decorations, you know up the wazoo that they can't handle anymore. It's just too much. So it just sits there Absolutely, so many things. yeah, I love that. Very good. thank you. But you are Tiffany Robinson (30:03.243) But, right, exactly! Tiffany Robinson (30:09.227) Yes! Tiffany Robinson (30:13.602) Yes. Tiffany Robinson (30:20.807) We are getting close to the end of our episode, but I have a few more questions for you. What is the most underrated home modification, the one that makes the biggest difference for the least amount of money? Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (30:35.042) I think it would be, it's going to sound silly, but a raised toilet seat. Better yet would be a new toilet that is a bidet, a taller bidet toilet. Those are amazing. I reviewed one not too long ago. I installed one myself and what I didn't know is that it came with a heated seat, which Tiffany Robinson (30:41.644) Yes. Tiffany Robinson (30:48.001) Mm-hmm. Tiffany Robinson (31:02.966) goodness. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (31:03.234) It's amazing in the winter. But if when you're older and it's difficult to turn, to wipe or to clean, plus it saves on toilet paper for sure, but getting on and off the toilet can be embarrassing if it's difficult for you and it makes it so easy. The other thing is just putting cushions on seats. That's very inexpensive. You know, like sofas or chairs in a dining room, anything to make it easier to get up and down. But that can be very difficult for a lot of people. And you don't even have to be too old to do it. You know, if you work at a sedentary job, you tend to lose a lot of leg muscle, strength maybe, and it just gets a little harder to get up and down. So I think those are very, well, maybe the bidet toilet is not super inexpensive, but it is such a little thing. that can really help to make the house much more comfortable and safer. Tiffany Robinson (32:07.543) Thank you, that's very, very good advice. What is one thing you tell every adult child before they have the, need to talk about the house conversation? Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (32:09.154) you Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (32:18.998) Don't take it personally. When your parents starts walking away or doesn't want to do it or is fighting you on it, don't take it personally. Just mention it. It's something on your mind. Ask them for their help to help you feel better about the situation. And if they don't want to talk about it, another time. Yeah, don't take it personally. Tiffany Robinson (32:46.189) You're right. Sometimes it's multiple conversations over a period of time. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (32:51.983) It's almost always multiple conversations. Yeah. And if there's four siblings and each one speaks to the parents or parents individually, it's much better than all the siblings kind of ganging up on the parent. Yeah. Just gently. Just do it gently. Of course, all of that depends on the nature of the parent. Tiffany Robinson (32:53.665) Nice. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (33:18.45) and the nature of the relationship that you have with the parents. So yeah, everyone is different. Yeah. Tiffany Robinson (33:18.829) course. Tiffany Robinson (33:25.261) Thank you so much for your expertise today. We have covered a lot of ground. We talked about the emotional piece, the physical piece, the financial piece. I think this has been so helpful and I appreciate your time with us today. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (33:36.93) thank you. I am so grateful for the time and the invitation. And I do hope that this information helps your audience. Absolutely. Yeah. Thank you. That's my goal. Tiffany Robinson (33:49.921) Can you share one more time? Can you share one more time your website that people can go to? I was looking at it. It is so useful. So many tools, resources right at your fingertips. I would love for you to share that with our listeners. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (34:04.048) thank you. Yes, it's senior safety advice.com. And we also have a YouTube channel that you can get to from there. And we have podcasts that you can get to from there. And a newsletter, a weekly newsletter filled with all new information that's not necessarily on the website. So my goal is really to try to help the seniors but Tiffany Robinson (34:24.493) option. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (34:29.706) You know, there's no way I can do that without also helping the families, the family caregivers. Tiffany Robinson (34:36.479) Awesome. Thank you so much. And we'll also include that in our show notes. Esther C. Kane, CAPS, C.D.S. (34:39.287) Thank you. Thank you so much. I hope you guys have a beautiful, beautiful day.